I have something to confess.
I’m a total fraud.
I’m a writer who doesn’t write.
There I said it.
I wasn’t planning on blogging tonight, but I had a conversation today that inspired me – a conversation I wish someone had with me when I was that age. I’m not really sure if I made a difference in her life, but she certainly made a difference in mine. And here I am writing about it.
Lo and behold, I am a writer, who now writes.
Writing is the expression of my soul. And ooooh, hooow I miss it. I feel like I’m making love to the very words I type as I type them, and it fills my heart with great joy and ecstasy.
But that’s not why I decided to push back everything I had originally planned for my evening. I actually felt inspired to write because of a brief conversation I had with a young woman that prompted me to examine my own life and how far I’ve come since graduating college.
Her pain and her struggle, I truly felt it because her struggles were my own. In some ways, they still are, just with a different context. Her dreams were my dreams. Her limitations were some of mine too.
As our conversation was ending, you know what she said to me? She said: “You’d make a great life coach. You should totally be a life coach. I could see you being a life coach.”
I smiled and told her that was the kind of the plan.
Our conversation lingered with me on my way home as it met with the background conversation already happening in my head concerning what I wanted to be known for as a coach and hypnotherapist, or as a college speaker, or maybe even as a corporate trainer.
Who is my audience? What problem do I help them solve? What solutions do I have to offer? How can I target three markets at the same time with no extra effort?
As you can imagine, there’s a lot going on in this pretty little head of mine, so it takes me some time to process and organize all of that information… but try I will, follow along…
An Inside Look At Reclaiming One’s Inner Power
It’s one thing to find one’s personal power. But it feels like a whole new game learning how to wield that power. It’s almost like I’m learning to walk for the first time. And then there’s the phrase “With great power comes great responsibility” that echoes in the background of my mind like a soft lullaby.
I’m at a point in my life where I am acknowledging and saying goodbye to the amateur child in me, so that the professional grown up in me has room to breathe. But I very much liked the old me; she kept me alive past the age of 30 when I thought for sure I’d never last that long.
Then 30 came and went and I realized: shit, I should probably do something with my life now. If I’m going to be around for a while, I might as well make my time here worth it. And from that day forward, I chose a different way of being. It’s been quite a long road even getting to this point because I was never really consistent.
You see, when I was in my 20s, I was always in survival mode, and in a constant state of fight or flight… mostly flight. If there was one thing I ever did consistently, it was fleeing to safety every chance I got. By the time I hit 30, I was so exhausted and burnt out from running away from all my problems, that I finally decided to give up and admit defeat. That was when I suddenly realized my darkest truth: It was time for me to be a grown up.
I started thinking about who I used to be, who I’ve become and who I’m still becoming.The fundamental difference between who I am now and who I want to be tomorrow lies in one of two basic choices we all have available to us each and every day.
We can choose REACTIVITY or we can choose PROACTIVITY.
When life happens beyond your control, it’s human nature to react to the situation. But if you’re always putting out fires, so to speak, then you’ll never find the time to prevent the fire from happening in the first place.
What really changed the game of life for me was realizing that I have more control over my circumstances than I ever gave myself credit for. I just wasn’t paying attention to what all my deepest fears, doubts and insecurities were trying to tell me.
When I finally started to listen to my inner critic like a trusted friend rather than my worst enemy, I heard all the concerns it brought up anticipating situations where I might find myself in a reactive mode.
Old me would have found a way to ignore those concerns and end up in exactly the kind of situation my lizard brain was trying to warn me about. But new me is finally starting to learn and trust my own inner wisdom and choosing to be proactive versus reactive.
This idea of being proactive vs reactive has me thinking about softball now, another love of mine. I liken this discussion to that of playing offense versus defense. If you know you’ve got a weak defense, then your best chances of winning the game of life just might be with a strong offense.
What are you thinking? What kind of player in life are you? Are you an offensive player or a defensive player? Chime in, I love me a good discussion. It widens my worldview to hear a straight from you!