2023 - Niki Payne

Personal Essays

Entertaining the Shadow

nikipUpdated on December 27, 2023December 27, 2023Leave a Comment3 min read

Yet remnants of my past self still lurk in the shadows of my life ever since.

self-esteem depicted by woman looking fondly at self in the mirror

Self-Improvement

6 essential habits to strengthen your self-esteem

nikipUpdated on October 5, 2023October 4, 2023Leave a Comment7 min read

Psychologist Nathaniel Branden identified six pillars that support healthy self-esteem development. By integrating these pillars into our routine, we can cultivate confidence, self-acceptance, and an overall positive sense of self-worth.

Book review — Change: Principles of Problem Formation and Problem Resolution

nikipUpdated on October 4, 2023April 15, 2023Leave a Comment6 min read

This book introduces the underlying theory of persistence and change, explores four main constructs from which many problems form, and offers suggestions on how facilitate change within systems that may perpetuate them without intervention.

Self-Improvement

How to show up for yourself in a room full of haters

nikipUpdated on March 27, 2023March 25, 2023Leave a Comment6 min read

Take down the bullies in your life with six tips for staying true to you.

Personal Essays

7 fun facts to help you get to know me

nikipUpdated on December 27, 2023March 15, 2023Leave a Comment3 min read

Niki Payne shares 7 fun facts about herself to help you to get to know her on a human to human level.

nikicpayne

Have you ever stopped to think about how every rel

Have you ever stopped to think about how every relationship you have is a reflection of both you and the other person? 🪞

Their behavior shows their values, beliefs, and emotional state, but your reaction reveals your triggers, boundaries, and growth areas.

The magic of conscious relationships lies in mastering your response—not to change them, but to deepen your self-awareness and build healthier connections.

What’s one way a relationship has taught you about yourself lately? Share below 👇

#ConsciousRelationships #SelfAwareness #EmotionalIntelligence

But if the holidays brings out the bonkers in your

But if the holidays brings out the bonkers in your family, and you need a safe space to vent, that’s a legit reason too. At the end of the day, you don’t need someone telling you what you’ve already heard before; you’re going to do what you’re going to do. What you need is the freedom to be your most authentic and vulnerable self without the risk of your deepest insecurities being used against you.

#therapyiscool #mentalhealthmatters #selfexpression #authenticityguaranteed

I asked ChatGPT: “Based on what you know about m

I asked ChatGPT: “Based on what you know about me, create an image of me in my daily life”.

This is the image it created for me…. apparently, ChatGPT thinks I’m white girl 😂 so I asked for a cartoon version and now it thinks I wear heals while working from home. Too funny. Jokes aside, oddly accurate. I do have books everywhere!

#chatgpt #chatgptprompts

“Can you really attract love in just seven weeks

“Can you really attract love in just seven weeks? 💕 I took on the challenge with Calling in the One and discovered so much more than I expected. Spoiler: it’s less about finding the one and more about becoming the one.

Through this journey, I learned that love starts within—and sometimes the love you attract isn’t the kind you expected, but exactly what you need. 🪞✨

Check out my latest book review on Substack (link in bio). 🌟

#bookreview #manifestlove #callingintheone

Future pacing love 💗 #relationshipgoals #manife

Future pacing love 💗 #relationshipgoals #manifestlove #consciousrelationships #hypnolovecoaching

✨ First blog post on @substack ✨ Dating Like B

✨ First blog post on @substack ✨
Dating Like Buddha: A Mindful Path to Love, Self-Awareness, and Letting Go. 💛

Dive into a spiritual approach to overcoming heartbreak, rediscovering yourself, and opening your heart to love again. Ready to find peace in the journey of love?

Read now on nikipayne.substack.com! 💌

#MindfulDating #SelfAwareness #HeartHealing #SpiritualLoveJourney #LettingGo

New photo, who dis? 📷: @photosbyrui Hi 👋 ni

New photo, who dis? 📷: @photosbyrui

Hi 👋 nice to meet you. Allow me to introduce myself….

I’m Niki—a clinical hypnotherapist and relationship coach with a master’s degree in psychology, specializing in marriage and family therapy. I’m also a huge book worm and personal development nerd who is passionate about helping people level up in life, love and everything in between. Whether it’s understanding why we think the way we do, breaking old patterns, or embracing new ones, I’m here for it all. DM your Q’s for a fresh perspective, stick around for the real talk. 💫 #selfgrowth #selfgrowthjourney #relationshiphypnotherapist #positivevibes #hypnodipity

Another year around the ☀️ Getting old sucks

Another year around the ☀️

Getting old sucks, but at least I don’t have to do it alone.

Thanks to everyone who helped make getting old a little less painful by singing karaoke with me!

🍆 Understanding Envy in Modern Relationships: P

🍆 Understanding Envy in Modern Relationships: Penis Envy vs. Vagina Envy 🍑

Envy is an emotion that few people like to admit to, but it plays a significant role in how we relate to others, especially in intimate relationships.

When we think of envy, we often picture material jealousy, but deeper psychological forms of envy can shape our behaviors and emotional dynamics in ways we don’t always recognize.

Two key concepts that shed light on how envy can influence relationships are penis envy and vagina envy. While Freud introduced the idea of penis envy over a century ago, modern interpretations of both penis and vagina envy reveal how these feelings of inadequacy and desire can impact our relationships.

Understanding these dynamics is a step toward overcoming emotional barriers and achieving personal growth.

Head on over to https://www.nikipayne.com/blog/ to read more!

#modernrelationships #penisenvy

Sunday funday with @socal.bombers. Love our team!

Sunday funday with @socal.bombers. Love our team! Now recruiting for Fall 2024 season. Follow @wfsasoftball for more info. #wfsa #fastpitchsoftball #softballlife

🚨Note to self: discipline trumps motivation🚨

🚨Note to self: discipline trumps motivation🚨

It’s pretty common for most people to rely on motivation to get things done. We often wait for that surge of inspiration or excitement to propel us forward. However, motivation can be fleeting. It comes and goes, and when it’s gone, it’s easy to lose focus and give up.

On the other hand, discipline is the practice of consistently taking action, regardless of whether we feel motivated or not. It’s about establishing a routine, setting goals, and sticking to them, even when we don’t feel like it. Discipline is the foundation that allows us to make progress, even on days when we lack motivation.

While motivation can be helpful, it’s not always reliable. It’s not always there when we need it the most. That’s why discipline is so important. It pushes us forward even when motivation wanes, helping us stay committed to our goals and achieve long-term success.

May this post serves as a reminder to prioritize discipline over relying solely on motivation. Let this be a reminder to cultivate self-control, consistency, and perseverance in order to achieve our goals, even when motivation is lacking.

💫 Follow me for more self-improvement content and tips to manifest the life and love you deserve 🌹

✉️ DM me today to inquire about my coaching and hypnosis services and take the first step towards living your best life. Let’s unlock the potential within you! 💪

🔥 Join the transformational journey now by hitting that follow button and reaching out. Together, we’ll create the love and happiness you deserve! ❤️✨

#disciplineovermotivation #disciplineiskey #motivationsecrets #disciplined #selfmasteryjourney

3 ways people sabotage their relationships 1. Avo

3 ways people sabotage their relationships

1. Avoiding conflict… When you continuously sweep your feelings under the rug in an effort to keep the peace by avoiding difficult conversations, you are setting yourself up for resentment and unresolved tension. Consider this: conflict breeds intimacy. It is often through conflict when we learn the most about ourselves and each other. By engaging in open and honest communication, we can gain a better understanding of each other, come up with mutually-beneficial solutions, and strengthen our bonds.

2. Deflecting responsibility… Receiving difficult feedback can challenge one’s sense of self, triggering our natural defense mechanisms. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to unintended harm towards others. When individuals refuse to acknowledge their own role in a given situation, it can put a strain on the relationship and erode trust. Instead of pointing blame to people or situations outside of your control, consider how your default reactions affect others. While you don’t have to take responsibility for someone else’s emotions, you do get to take responsibility for the impact of the things you say and do despite your best intentions.

3. Intellectualizing emotions… This is a common defense mechanism many people use to avoid vulnerability and emotional intimacy. Instead of acknowledging and expressing their true feelings, individuals may rely on logic and rationalization to navigate relationship challenges. While it is important to have intellectual conversations, it is equally important to connect emotionally with your partner. By allowing yourself to be vulnerable and expressing your emotions authentically, you can deepen your emotional connection and foster and stronger bond.

#relationshipstruggles #selfsabotage #relationshipcoach #relationshiprescue #womensupportingwomen #divorcedaf #relationshipbuilding #manifestlove #southbaytherapist #losangelescoach #relationshipcoaching #communicationskillstraining

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